Philosophy of perception: A Relationship

Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for  – Bob Marley

In this day and age, when people have increasingly high standards for almost everything in their life, be it smartphones, the brands they wear, the friend circle they have or ultimately the partner they choose to hang out with, it is quite imperative to ask yourself a very tricky question: What does a “relationship” mean to you ? And what kind of relationships matter to you more than others?

Well, after pondering over these questions, I found some answers of my own, which are a bit captivating, as they are based on my experiences.

A relationship, according to Google’s first result, is:

“the way in which two or more people or things are connected, or the state of being connected.”

Surely, this is an all-encompassing definition, and I agree with it, on principle. Strangely though, this isn’t a perfect definition by any means.

A family is clearly the first relationship someone gets into, unknowingly, yes, but it’s the most natural relationship we are an integral part of. (Un)Fortunately, as we grow older, we turn into a social animal, with a certain psychology that makes us crave attention and respect from the world outside our family. As we turn into an adult, our insecurities increase even more. We need people to remember our birthdays, we adore friends who reassure us that we are wanted by helping out with a good amount of likes and follows in our social media account. We compete for attention.

This shapes us as an individual. The stronger the craving is, the more disassociated one becomes from the family, and more of a social climber, in one way or the other, one becomes.

It is not a bad thing to become disassociated from our family to some extent; everyone has to pay this price to be a socially amiable person. But, it’s our choices that make us who we are more than anything else. So when these threads binding us to our parents slowly turn feeble, it is when we learn about a very crucial word: Prioritization

Can you be the “Jack of all trades” or should I say “Jack of all relationships” at this point in your life? Well, the answer to this question answers all the other ones. It is the One question to answer them all. Heh

I know I’ve digressed a bit from the original question, but all this contemplation and deliberation will surely help me put my perspective forward now.

So we have three important categories of relationships. One, with our family. Second, with our friends. Third, (optional) with a person who we are in “the relationship“.

So what is “the relationship“? How important is this one than the one with family?

To be honest, I can’t quantitatively answer that. Bummer, right? That’s a bit anti-climatic after all the build up. However, in my eyes, there is no clear winner. Both are important and, as per my experiences, I would say the two relationships serve different purposes, for different periods of one’s life.

From your family, you not only get financial support but also the much needed moral support necessary to succeed. You have a past associated with them and in a way you’re obliged to give them back; after all, they are the ones who have sacrificed loads of things to bring you up. You love them naturally. They are, in most cases, your numero uno priority.

Enjoying coconut water with mom and dad at Madurai

That changes when you fall in love romantically. But you have a choice here: To be or not to be in a romantic relationship. This choice is also a very crucial one. The experience is beautiful and your world turns topsy-turvy in many ways. On the other hand, another layer of prioritization is added in our lives. ( If you take it seriously) It is your future, after all; the one who is going to be with you until the end. Love is one of the greatest driving forces in the world and now you have a clear advantage over others. Nurture it, respect it. However, if you can not prioritize, you’ve dug your own grave.

That’s how I perceive the two relationships. If there’s a balance between the two, a person becomes a strong force to be reckoned with, since he is armed with all the support required to succeed. However, if the opposite happens, you lose some relationships and eventually have a certain hole in your life that can’t heal.

So be a jack of all trades and juggle these relationships with utmost care and unconditional love. After all everyone, in the end, has “to go home and be a family man”.

“The old argument,” Voldemort said softly. “But nothing I have seen in the world has supported your pronouncements that love is more powerful than my kind of magic, Dumbledore.”

“Perhaps you have been looking in the wrong places,” suggested Dumbledore.”

from Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, by JK Rowling

 

PS: Happy Birthday, love.